Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Settle Down?


As I sit here attempting to begin a 15 page paper for my personality class, my mind is everywhere but here.
I want to become a journalist, so that I can go and be an advocate for the injustices done to children all over the world. I also love drama and public speaking so I think it's a good fit. (Maybe I can work for the BBC if I hold onto my accent.) I want to stand at the scene of the atrocities and tell it to the world. I imagine that I would become too emotionally involved with individuals and want to stay and invest in their lives though, so maybe it wouldn't work. Actually, my Mum brought up that last point, and she knows me PRETTY well. But I'd like to do it for a few years at least.
I want to become a teacher too, because it's like a ticket to anywhere in the world, especially if one wants to live in another country. That way I can move permanently to Africa and set up education programs out in the bush. My psychology degree will hopefully help me to work with traumatized children, if I can take more classes of that focus. Speaking of which, here two links for a horriffic situation taking place right now in Northern Uganda. One is the INVISIBLE CHILDREN and the other is this one. These are children who are abducted on a nightly basis to become child soldiers/killing machines, trained by a rebel army who is trying to overthrow the government. We can do something, so check out the sites if you want to help. If you live in Toronto there is a giant "night commute" in 2 weeks time. I have to miss it though, because I will be in England. But YOU should go.
I want to be out of school and right there, spending my days rescuing vulnerable and needy kids and pouring love into their lives, watching them blossom like flowers under the sunshine as the realize that they are worth something and loved. Yet at the same time, the practical side of me wants to use this time of being young and free from responsibility to get as educated as I can be. It's kind of like putting eggs in a basket or something...and I want a lot of eggs. Speaking of eggs, the goose in the courtyard at Tyndale has laid 5 of them and attacks anyone who ventures near her nest. (I speak from experience) But seriously, if I am qualified as a teacher and a journalist, and have a BA in psychology, that should set me up for something. I can do teachers college in one year, and an intensive journalism program over one summer, so it shouldn't take me until I'm 80 to leave school. There is SO very much I want to do. So much I want to experience and explore and feel before I...hold on a second....before I WHAT?
..Someone told me yesterday, "Hannah, you need to settle down soon." Do I? Why should I settle down? Give me one good reason. Is it a requirement in life? For some reason, the phrase "settle down" sounds like "stop dreaming" to me. Please tell me I never have to stop dreaming? Whenever I take those little personality test things, I always get the description involving the word "dreamer". Everytime. To stop dreaming is to crucify something inside. Maybe I am too much of a dreamer, but I'd much rather live in the hope of dreams that burn brightly inside than "settle down" and feel cold and grey -like ashes. Dreams allow me to be a part of something so much greater than myself at this moment in time. They allow me to reach outside of the tangible and illuminate far more of life than every day existence allows.
Maybe I will never own a house and have a "killing me softly" 9-5 job. Maybe I will never even get married. I feel so driven towards this dream, that it has to take priority. There are not many things I am so sure of as this, and therefore I am holding this as a reference point. Consequently, not too many guys fit into it, and I don't think I like dating casually. I'm the wrong personality type for that. It want it to be all or nothing now. That's Ok, I only need one guy, and I am happy to wait until he's the right one. I often tell God that he had better be blazingly obvious God Ok? Maybe I will become something so far away from the norm, and if so, and it's God's plan for me, then that's cool. Whatever it is, I have this theory that it will be what makes me feel alive. Being in Africa amongst these children, rescuing, loving them, and catching their contagious zest for life...this is what being alive means to me. More than anything else in my life so far, this has lit a fire within me and caused me to feel like I was doing what I have been born to do. I know that God has placed that inside me. It's not normal, yet it is my desire. Therefore, I believe it is God given.
I received a letter from Zambia yesterday, from my friend Beulah Kalunga, who is 15 years old. Talk about a perspective check. I don't have it with me, but I will post it when I do. I actually want to do a few posts along this line of thought. Anyway, for now I am going to get back to my paper, but with these beautiful faces in my mind, suddenly the reason for writing it seems a lot more compelling...

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking about this, too, the other day. Life's short, but yet, really quite long. We've maybe 80 years to live, or 29,200 days depending on how you see it. I don't care too much about marriage as I did a year ago. I've realized that God should be (and will always be) every woman's number one focus in life. From there, if there are men for us, than fantastic! If not, there's no loss. At least we still have the awesome priviledge to serve God every one of those 29,200 days...then for an eternity more in Heaven!

Thanks for sharing your heart.

God bless,

Amy :)

5:24 p.m.  
Blogger alexstreet said...

Just as a matter of interest...
a)this is the first time I have ever responded to a "blog" other than for a class assignment, so feel blessed...2)I just wanted to let everyone know that I apparently am this 'settle down' sayer...d)Hannah's great.
Settle down does not mean...stop dreaming, although with you it might, simply because you want to get out there and visit everyone and be everywhere all at the same time...I do not. Therefore 'settling down' for me is completely different than what it is for you. In fact, I don't even know what it is for me at this moment...I don't think I will know until I'm 80 and living in Florida with a nurse wiping my butt for me...that's truly settling down.
Even though at this moment it may seem like I've got life planned out...it only gets rougher from here, not in a bad way...just waves in what used to be a calm sea, so to imagine what it means to settle down is wonderful, and really as much as I don't see it as necessarily a "negative" term...I don't think that anyone in ministry is allowed to settle down anytime soon.

by the way I don't even remember saying it.

Alexander David Johnathan Street esq.

5:57 p.m.  
Blogger Hofman said...

My first thought was No, you are not wrong for dreaming - I believe it is passion in you and we serve a God who is passionate. Jesus was so much so that He gave his life for us so I don't think you're going wrong there. It would be good for more of our generation to have that kind of desire. I had another thought too but ask me about that one in person.
Much love, thanks for your your 4 identical messages on my blog! haha. Elea

7:39 p.m.  
Blogger Ben said...

Being a notorius dreamer, both daydreaming and non, I am kind of forced to agree with that whole notion. I enjoy spending my time thinking about future plans. Sometimes just little things like dinner later on or what an office will look like if I were to get one. Sometimes it's big things, like life goals and ministry ideas. I tend to live a little with my head in the clouds and I need those pessimistic buggers like Alex to bring me down to earth. Actually that's not true, James is the pessimistic shadow hanging over me. Kind of like a monkey on my back. I love how Pessimists just claim to be realists, IT's THE SAME THING!!! Anyways, dream on Hannah, Dream On!!
By the way she dreams about me)

11:13 p.m.  
Blogger Krista said...

Hannah!

I read your posts like this and realize why we are friends (and why you have so many friends)!

Never stop dreaming. Never stop following your passions and your heart (especially ones as God-given as these!). Never stop asking God to move mountains, and never stop trusting whatever the answer He gives you. Always, always, always enjoy the ride (and adventures!).

While I want to appreciate every moment of time and not rush things, I can hardly wait to see where you end up!

XO,

Krista

11:27 p.m.  
Blogger Ryan said...

My dear Hannah Price,

You are one top-drawer Christian woman. A sister that makes this brother proud.
Reading your post made me think of a book I read recently - I don't know how much time you have for reading, but I definitely reccomend it. It's called "Shadow of the Almighty", by Elisabeth Elliot. It's the Journals/Biography of Jim Elliot (young missionary, killed in Ecuador by natives). Your longing to serve the Lord is so similar to his; he lived his life in such an open-handed, available kind of way. Totally an example of the "simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ" that I see in you. I pray you will make it your ambition to be pleasing to Him, whatever the dreams He gives you may be.

Excel still more, Sister!
ryan

2:33 p.m.  
Blogger Kristine said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:34 p.m.  
Blogger Kristine said...

If "settling down" in the comfortable sense is the only meaning to the phrase, then by all means I think I want to stir things up a bit. But "settling down" to me implies something far more appealing. It speaks to me of becoming more and more at home in Christ, being settled into His heart and conforming to His desires increasingly. In this place, physical comfort is never an issue, for comfort is derived from the presence of Christ. Dreams are borne of settling into this place and being at home there. Dreams are encouraged there. The courage to wait on those dreams is found there, in Him. SO ... I guess what I'm trying to say is ... it sounds like you're settling down, Hannah Price.

3:37 p.m.  
Blogger David said...

Sweet Hannah,

Well as being a musician, I can do little to help but not borrow quotes from those in my profession. You must remember that God has placed those burning desires in your heart thus they could never be misplaced. Where would we be without dreams? I too often wonder about the whole “will I ever find someone in the midst of pursuing the dreams God has for me”…please do not worry about it. God will take of all that…we must keep focused on what God is doing in us…let me sum it up, Martin Smith talks about History Makers not having to be politicians, sports-stars, rockstars or moviestars…each of us becomes a History Maker when we realize that each of us were created to do something no one else can do…there is in all of us something God created specifically for us to do, some tap into that some don’t…Hannah I believe you are meant to do great things on behalf of those who can do little for themselves, it is your call in life, if that is so pursue it in reckless abandon, rise up and do it! Don’t let anyone deter you! PS check back to my blogsite davidkentie.blogspot.com on Saturday night, I’ll have a better response for all this. I’m sure you’ll enjoy!

Bye

12:53 a.m.  
Anonymous Travis said...

Hmm. Yes, Invisible Children is quite good/interesting/horrifying.

They showed it at my school a few months ago. And the take back the night is at the end of April I believe?
But yes, quite the cause to get behind.
The three people who created it/filmed it are Christians too

2:57 p.m.  
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