The Three Musketeers Strike Again!

It was a Tuesday night after a week of Midterms, and though my body and mind were exhausted, I was determined to take advantage of this rare 'night off'. Together with my partners in crime, Laura (sister) and Beth (cousin), we set off to wreak havoc on the city of Toronto. (or should I say REEK havoc....pun very intended!) Armed with our weapon of mass destruction, (an extremely realistic fart machine with 15 varieties of fart) we entered the TTC system, where we spent the next 4 hours going from subway to subway, platform to platform, springing chaos on poor unsuspecting members of the general public.

I have not laughed this hard in months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Let me explain how this contraption works: There is a small black box -with boom-box technology no less- that can be hidden anywhere. Mostly we hid it on the body of one of the three of us. Then there is the remote control, which works within a 100 metre radius, allowing the button presser to be far away from the scene of the crime and never suspected as the farter.)
Here are some highlights of the night:
1)The Eglington Subway platform where a gentleman in his thirties was beside himself with laughter at our antics, finally figured out what we were doing, and proceeded to join in with us, explaining to everybody standing around that "she can't help herself, she has a problem."
2) The guy who tried hitting on Laura, walking towards her saying "hey there", to which Beth (holding the remote) promptly responded by letting one rip (the machine was in Laura's jacket), -the guy just about jumped backwards onto the tracks in his hurry to get away!
3)The couple who were mid-makeout session, until I walked past and destroyed their magical moment. The girl collapsed onto her boyfriends chest in laughter, and when I walked back past a moment later, the guy held out his hands in protection and said "STAY AWAY FROM US!".
4)The TTC workers in their office who were becoming more and more disturbed by the loud flacculence noises coming from the platform, until finally one marched out and shouted "We need to evacuate the building"!! Upon seeing Laura standing around the corner, he exclaimed "You???? And such a pretty girl! You need to eat more vegetables."
5) The group of five guys in their 30's who, after hearing the obnoxious noise, all blamed their friend "Dave" who tried in vain to defend himself and proclaimed "it wasn't me, it was that girl over there"! .......Yeah right Dave.
6)The group of three guys in their later 20's who were in full conversation until they heard a large fart, to which they suddenly hushed, and a few seconds later, a small voice could be heard muttering "safety."
7)The guy in a long black trench coat who sussed out what we were doing on the train, and got so excited about it that he wanted to order his own fart machine. When we told him about it, he yelled out rather loudly; "It seriously has 15 varieties of fart???? Can I please listen to them all?!"

As a psychology student, it was interesting to look at the social psychology lessons in the way that people reacted, the genre of person that people blamed as the culprit, and the way that humour breaks down social barriers with complete strangers!
We found in general that the male population shared our "toilet humour" far more than the females. The typical female reaction was to wrinkle her nose in disgust and shoot a dirty, shocked look in our direction. Often she actually got up off the bench and walked away! As for the boys and men, they were either trying desperately not to laugh, or had given in to the hilarity of the situation and were practically rolling on the floor guffawing.....(guffawing, what a great word!)

As for Laura, Beth and I, I don't think we'll ever grow up, and we most definitely will never become 'ladylike'...it sounds far too boring.

PS: The next day, Jesse, Jo and I spent a good hour in the Tyndale school library pulling similar shenanigans. Sorry sem students!